So, I'm Writing a Book.
The important thing to note is this whole process utterly terrifies me. I have a chronic habit of only attempting things know I'm good at and quite frankly writing doesn't typically make my top 10 list. I know for a fact that my vocabulary is limited and my understanding of grammar is embarrassing. I was the student who learned for the test and promptly forgot the information to make room for more. Very little remains from my 17 years of formal education but well that's just life. You don't value the things you aren't intentional about protecting.
So that's what brings me to today. As I sit writing this post I can honestly tell you I am hyper sensitive about the frailty of life. One decision, one moment can alter the trajectory of your life and change it forever. These things could be beautiful moments like marrying your best friend or they could be incredibly daunting tasks like making a 4100 square foot house feel like a home when you're too self conscious to even post a picture of your front door.
Story of my life.
Four months after I got married, my bald partner in crime and I moved in a lovely, massive mic mansion. Surrounded by engineers and lawyers we were the only renters and everyone knew it. We had just run our business for almost a year out of one apartment, then two, then three and finally caved to get a house. This was our defining moment. We believed we could thrive there. We believed that God was calling us to more and we weighed the options and took the leap. We planned to expense most of the house for our business and live in the rest. It made sense. We were petrified at the thought of a commercial lease and this was our "baby step".
During this season I realized that my support system was practically non existent. My friends all had beautiful bouncing boys and girls or herds of grand kids and here I was childless by choice, trying to make a business work. There weren't any sermons about human resources for me to reference in hard times and when churches did reach out to entrepreneurs I was always the last to get the memo. I was the odd ball. A position I had occupied since the day I was born and I wanted to feel a sense of belonging. I wanted comradery. I wanted more.
THE MOST BIZARRE THINGS happened while we lived in that pristine neighborhood and I constantly found myself pleading with God, "WHERE ARE YOU? Why is this happening NOW". I'm not sure if you're aware but we serve the God of happy sweet prayers and desperate pleas soaked in ugly tears. Thanks Be to God! So now that I'm on the other side of it, I feel the need to share. To speak to that entrepreneur who loves Jesus and tell them you're not alone. To show them that you can see God's hand print on your life and business everywhere you look if you're looking through the right lens. Good calls in business. Monumental failures. God is still there. There is hope and future. Just hold on and don't let go.
I've decided on a title for the book, "My Time in the BIG House: As For Me and My House We're Trying to Serve the Lord". This will be my attempt to not waste my trials. A colorful recount of my time in that house as told through the structure of the blueprint. We'll start in the basement and work our way up. I'll share with you the invaluable lessons our Heavenly Father was kind to bestow on me and my husband. The goal is not to preach. The goal is to pause and see God work. We had AWESOME days and we had miserable days. Some days the house felt like a castle and other times it felt like the most ornate lakefront prison Bedford County had ever seen.
I'm not a writer. But this is what I feel I need to do to serve God with my story. Venture into the land of Christian Business Development Autobiographies which thank goodness is not a highly saturated place. I would love to have support. People to proofread. People to pray. People to help me brainstorm ways to get people to buy this sucker when it's done :) I love to create names for things so let's call this community of people my Big House Besties. If you'd like to join me for this ride, please drop your name and email below. When I have book jackets and chapters to read...you'll be the first to know. I promise.
If you got this far. Seriously God Bless You. You are the real MVP.
This is going to be a wild ride and I hope I don't have to take this journey alone.
"I am flawed, fallen & imperfect. Yet drenched in the grace & mercy that is found in Christ there is strength".
Wanna be my bestie?
Just drop your name & email address below.